Big Government. Small Brains. Dumb Laws.


Dumb Laws in Washington

The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment.
X-rays may not be used to fit shoes.
It is illegal to attach a vending machine to a utility pole without prior consent from the utility company.
No person may walk about in public if he or she has the common cold.
Destroying a beer cask or bottle of another is illegal.
It is illegal to entice girls away from the Maple Lane School for girls.
All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.
It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.
You are not allowed to breastfeed in public. (Repealed, 2001)
One may not spit on a bus.
When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.
You cannot buy meat of any kind on Sunday.
All lollipops are banned.
A law to reduce crime states: “It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.

City Laws in Washington

Single-use plastic carry out bags are prohibited
You may not shuck peanuts on the street – False, you can!
It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.
Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.

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We are always on the lookout for new laws that make you laugh because of their sheer absurdity. If you know about a law that is not listed here, please contact me!