Big Government. Small Brains. Dumb Laws.

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Florida Attorney Spotlight

If you have been arrested or charged with violating a dumb law in Florida, you need someone on your side. Attorney David Edelstein, an experienced florida criminal lawyer, represents clients in state and federal courts throughout the state.

Although he has never represented anyone for selling their children, or leaving an elephant tied to a parking meter, he has represented thousands of clients charged with mundane crimes ranging from mortgage fraud to drug trafficking. If you are facing criminal charges in Florida, call Miami attorney David Edelstein today for a free consultation at 877-321-4545.

Dumb Laws in Florida

The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.
Full text of the law.
One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.
Full text of the law.
Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.
Full text of the law.
Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.
Full text of the law.
Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.
Why does this law exist?
Full text of the law.
It is illegal to sell your children.
Full text of the law.
Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
Oral sex is illegal.
You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

City Laws in Florida


More Dumb Laws in Florida »
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new dumb laws

We are always on the lookout for new laws that make you laugh because of their sheer absurdity. If you know about a law that is not listed here, please contact me!